I Can Only Imagine

So last week I promised my all-star soccer team of "players in other sports", a concept that I blatantly stole from the Sports Guy over at ESPN. Without further ado, here it is. A few notes before we get started: 1) It would be very easy to simply put NBA freaks like Dwight Howard and Lebron on this team, but you have to look at things like body type and mass. Guys with heavy BMIs don't tend to work so well in a sport that depends on endurance. 2) I am going with a standard 4-4-2, it will be the easiest way to organize the team, and this formation is generally what you see Team USA operate out of. 3) I am going to try and account for things Bob Bradley likes, such as overlap from defensive backs, counterattacking offense, and a physical target man to maintain possession up top. 4) Beyond the 3rd grade I have never played soccer. The game is still new to me, and I am constantly learning. If any of my eurotrash readers or soccer-snob friends have further input, if is very much appreciated. Finally: 5) I am not going to use Nate Robinson or Allen Iverson, two guys who fit what Simmons is trying to do to a T. If I am going to shamelessly borrow his idea, I have to do it on my own merits. Take a look at what I came up with:



Goalkeeper: Take a look at the best goalkeepers in the world, for argument's sake we will grab USA's Tim Howard, Edwin Van der Sar of Netherlands, Petr Cech of the Czech Republic, Ricky Kingson of Ghana, Fabian Barthez of France, and Gigi Buffon of Italy. Chances are, aside from knowing who maybe 3 of those guys are, you don't have a means to discern between members of this group. I'll break it down for you: Barthez, who you may remember as the Paul Schaffer lookalike in 2006, and Kingson stand at roughly 5'11. The rest are big dudes, with Van der Sar topping out at 6'6. At this position I am looking for an athletic, above the rim athlete with the fast-twitch muscle coordination to hit the deck when necessary.
My Choice: Richard Jefferson, San Antonio Spurs. RJ stands at about 6'7, which isn't a huge stretch, and actually weighs less than America's backup, a creepy guy named Marcus Hahnemann. Jefferson is one of the notable dunkers in the NBA, plays hard, and at 29 has the necessary maturity to hold down the fort between the pipes. I toyed with Shawn Marion, a better athlete with the same dimensions, but with some of the guys on this team you can't toy with chemistry.

Right Back: At right back you want a stable, composed player who is capable of joining in on the attack. Size is nice, but not necessary. Our Yanks will likely trot out 5'6 Steve Cherundolo. 'Dolo is a stout defender, capable tackler and can provide a spark on offense.
My Choice: Antoine Winfield, Minnesota Vikings. Regarded as one of the all-time great run stopping corners, Winfield provides plenty of coverage and has experience dropping back to slow down breakaways (think deep routes in football). Winfield plays within himself, is rarely 'booked' (Pass interference) and has a nose for the ball in big moments. The college version of this squad would feature Trevin Wade of Arizona, but hes too young. For now I keep him on the under-21 team to get him consistent run.

Center Back: For my first center back, I want a physical athlete who knows how to get position when the ball is in the air, is comfortable in dangerous situations, throws elbows without getting caught, and make plays when the opportunity presents itself. For the States, its going to be the 6'4, 235 pound specimen Oguchi Onyewu.
My Choice: Ed Reed, Baltimore Ravens. E Reed is a potential hall of fame safety for the Ravens, an outfit best known for attention to defense and focus during periods of adversity. Reed has proven himself to be a leader who rises to the occasion in the Red Zone, is rarely flagged, and has several of the longest defensive touchdowns in league history. #20 might just get to don the captains armband for my squad.

'Other" Center Back: At this spot I am looking for a little bit more of a pure cover-man, someone who can isolate the premier striker for an England or a Spain, and effectively remove them from the game.
My Choice: Darrelle Revis, New York Jets. Revis is at his best operating on an island in man coverage, draping his 6'1 frame over receivers and reducing even the brightest star receivers to bit roles. I like his size and speed, as he has the goods to keep pace with a Wayne Rooney, Fernando Torres or Cristiano Ronaldo.

Left Back: This is the position most teams really struggle with. Proving yourself capable at left back ensures years of job security, even if you're not as competent as your teammates. The Netherlands will trot out Gio van Bronckhorst, who is about 3000 years old. Why? Because it is very difficult to train for this position. If he played any other position besides left back, America's Jonathan Bornstein would be watching Saturday's game on a couch in Reseda. (Note to Bornstein: please do that) If helps to be left footed here, and quick, as left backs tend to match up with the most dangerous wingers (look up Aaron Lennon on YouTube to get an idea what I am talking about).
My Choice: Brandon Jennings, Milwaukee Bucks. Young Money is maybe the most dynamic left handed point guard in the NBA. In addition to his left-handedness, Brandon brings all sorts of flair and personality to the table, which really lends itself to soccer like no other team sport. I can just see the nearly Wildcat and his '80s high top fade streaking down the sidelines, stealing the ball from an Italian (who then switches to the 'shot in the back' defense as he waits for the magic spray) and running all the way towards goal, before makes a crazy pass or fakes somebody out of their shorts. His end-to-end speed, flair, handedness, and creativity bode very well for the beautiful game.


Right Midfield: I will use this position as an attacker, similar to the way Coach Bob Bradley will utilize Landon Donovan. I am looking for pure speed. As I just said, left defensive back is the easiest position to trouble, so I am looking for someone who can run circles around defenders, track down deep passes from USA's half, and draw fouls.
My Choice: DeSean Jackson, Philadelphia Eagles. I first became enamored with Jackson's game as a high school senior in 2004, when he ran a 4.29 40 at a Los Angeles 7-on-7 tournament. From there, it was a matter of Jackson creating highlight reel plays, making defenders look foolish, and always being a threat to score. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rJAlcMyVsdI&feature=related -disregard the late penalty) As a wide receiver, Desean knows how to draw penalties and put his team in a better position to score. I can't think of a better training ground to become a flopping soccer player than playing wide receiver in the flag-happy PAC-10. At about 170 pounds, He might be the only guy on the team who fits the standard dimensions of his position.

Center Midfield: Many of the great teams have a guy pulling all the strings from center mid, coordinating the attack, and really calling the game in a manner similar to a catcher or point guard. Look no further than Germany's Michael Ballack, or Spain's diminutive Xavi. While he may not be the goal scorer, everything but the finish is thanks to the man at center mid.
My Choice: Rajon Rondo, Boston Celtics. With apologies to Simmons, I had to get this guy on the team. I love his defense, I love his attitude, he is a great passer, and when the time is right he is a scorer. I picture Rondo as the free kick specialist of this team, and I see him slotting guys like Desean Jackson behind the defenses on great services. (I really wanted to write services. In the video game, they are through balls, diagonal passes, oftentimes with spin, that evade defenders and work themselves to a streaking attacker. {Ignore the miss, focus on Xavi's pass: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7FCm4k_m_qg}) Rondo would be more in the Steven Gerrard mold, however, as almost a withdrawn striker. Either way, this is a guy who can split a defense apart with the perfect pass, and finishes at the rim (goal) like no other 6'3 pro can.

Center Defensive Midfielder: For this spot I want a guy who provides some cover when defenders, like a potentially overzealous Jennings, decide to join in on the offensive. The United States will probably use Ricardo Clark here. Ricardo is one of the faster players on the field, who has no problem mixing it up with larger players, and is a good tackler.
My Choice: Bob Sanders, Indianapolis Colts. While his 5'8 height may scare people off, I see Bob as the x-factor on this team. For one thing, none of my forwards are going to be messed with as long as Demond (that is his real name) is on the field. He plays much bigger than his height, but also has a low center of gravity combined with superhuman strength. I really doubt Italy's Danielle deRossi or Ghana's Sulley Muntari would have a shot at knocking him off the ball. Most importantly, Bob is great against the run in football. The way he makes tackles and takes angles, in this guy opinion, translates directly into providing a helping hand for defenders.

Left Midfield: Here I am opting for another burner, with a slightly different skill set than Jackson. I want a complete player who can make diagonal runs supporting the strikers, but can also make tackles early and disrupt potential counters and rushes by our opponents.
My Choice: Devin Hester. First off, NEVER KICK TO HESTER HES SO DANGEROUS!!!!!! The guy was the first 100 speed in Madden for a reason. Pure jets. Hester is a versatile enough athlete that the Bears can't find enough ways to get him the ball, which is too bad for them because the Bears otherwise have an awful team. I like the appeal of an agile punt return type on the wing, I like his physical nature to keep him on the ball, and it wouldn't be soccer without at least one head of dreadlocks. His experience as a college cornerback tells me he would be excellent when the ball is near our goal, defending corners/free kicks. He probably is also crazy enough to stand in the wall.


Right Forward: This is the 'target forward' spot, which Bob Bradley just loves. The target forward's job is to receive long passes, hold the ball up for the cavalry to show up, draw contact, and chip in cheap goals. Anything else is a bonus. This is why Brian Ching nearly made it onto the plane for South Africa. I am looking for a little more speed and creativity, but for the most part I like what the target forward brings to the table.
My Choice: Chad Johnson, Cincinnati Bengals. (I refuse to call him Ochocinco. It is stupid and gets in the way of the NFL, which in my opinion is turning too much into a soap opera, taking away from a truly great game played at the highest level. Chad Johnson it is.) His soccer background is well documented, and 85 has been spotted dribbling around in warmups before Bengals games. While his ball-handling skills won't blow you away, lets imagine a guy with this size, speed and coordination growing up at one of those youth academies English and Spanish teams have. He would be nothing short of outstanding. I love Jozy Altidore's game, but can you imagine if he was 25 pounds heavier, and much faster? Johnson would be great at receiving passes, he is big enough not to be knocked off the ball, and there's no question hes another receiver who could master diving.

Left Forward: For my final slot on the field, I am looking for a compact, muscular, speedy guy who can collect the ball like a midfielder would and go on perfect runs. Look up Wayne Rooney to see exactly what I want from this position.
My Choice: Darren Sproles, San Diego Chargers. Sproles is electrifying, strong, fast, and has beaten the odds to become a critical player in the National Football League. If a 5'5 guy can make it in that league, why not soccer? Rooney is roughly 5'10, however the player he often teams with, Jermain Defoe, stands 5'6 and weighs about 140 lbs. Sproles won't be much of a threat in the air, but I have no doubt his agility and creativity would provide more than enough offense on counterattacks and defensive breakdowns, which he is more than capable of creating by himself. Oregon State's 'Quizz Rodgers is another member of the under-21 team, waiting his turn for the big time.

Subs:
Goalkeeper: Champ Bailey (Denver Broncos), Denard Span (Minnesota Twins/obligatory baseball pick)
Defense: Antonio Cromartie (New York Jets), Chauncey Billups (Denver Nuggets), Steve Blake (Portland Trail Blazers), Russell Westbrook (Oklahoma City Thunder)
Midfield: Stephen Curry (Golden State Warriors), Percy Harvin (Minnesota Vikings), Chris Johnson (Tennessee Titans), Maurice Drew (Jacksonville Jaguars), Reggie Bush (New Orleans Saints)
Forward: Sidney Rice (Minnesota Vikings), Wes Welker (New England Patriots)

That's 24, one more than the allotted roster. Whatever


There you have it. While I recognize just how many directions you could take this, I think this is a reasonable team of great athletes, who are of realistic sizes, who could have made outstanding soccer players. I can't say that I am unhappy with our guys who did pick the global game, and I hope you look forward to watching the upcoming games as much as I do.